Question

上周一班會(huì)課我們班就“我的夢(mèng)想”進(jìn)行了一次熱烈的討論，學(xué)生們發(fā)表了各自的看法。

Tom	健康的飲食, 多運(yùn)動(dòng)，有強(qiáng)健的體魄來(lái)…
Kate	環(huán)境好，污染少，生活在一個(gè)鳥(niǎo)語(yǔ)花香的世界，…
Mary	有一天能乘飛機(jī)去香港旅游，因?yàn)橄愀凼琴?gòu)物天堂，…
Millie	有足夠的時(shí)間玩自己最喜歡的教育游戲，在玩的同時(shí)學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)和地理…
你自己	…

要求：1. 要點(diǎn)齊全，可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)使句子通順、連貫。
2. 最后一點(diǎn)要展開(kāi)合理的想象，不少于2點(diǎn)。
3. 詞數(shù)80左右，開(kāi)頭與結(jié)尾已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。
My dream
Everyone may have his own dream. Someone may want to be rich, someone may want to be beautiful, and someone may want to have power. Last Monday, we had a warm discussion about this topic at the class meeting. Here are different opinions.
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When thinking of these things, we realize that we are full of life and hope.

Answer 1

My dream
Everyone may have his own dream. Someone may want to be rich, someone may want to be beautiful, and someone may want to have power. Last Monday, we had a warm discussion about this topic at the class meeting. Here are different opinions.
Tom would like to have an healthy diet and more exercise. He wants to own a strong body so that he can be a volunteer to help people in need. In Kate’s opinion, her dream is to live in a beautiful and less polluted world. If she can smell the flowers and hear the birds sing around, she will be full of joy. Mary hopes to fly to HongKong to do some shopping one day because HongKong is a wonderful place to go shopping. Millie is interested in educational computer games. So she wishes to play computer games and learn something about Geography and English at the same time.
My dream is to study abroad one day. I really want to make more friends and learn more about the world.
When thinking of these things, we realize that we are full of life and hope. All of us believe that our dreams will come true if we try our best.

試題分析：本書(shū)面表達(dá)是以my dream為題的寫(xiě)作，所以文章的時(shí)態(tài)應(yīng)該是將來(lái)時(shí)；在題目中提到了一些人的夢(mèng)想，所以在表述時(shí)，應(yīng)該緊扣提示；而對(duì)于“我”的夢(mèng)想應(yīng)該是與前幾人的不同。書(shū)寫(xiě)時(shí)應(yīng)該注意語(yǔ)言的連貫，表達(dá)的地道，注意連詞的運(yùn)用和文章的層次。
【亮點(diǎn)說(shuō)明】本文層次分明，語(yǔ)句通順，時(shí)態(tài)運(yùn)用準(zhǔn)確。對(duì)不同人的夢(mèng)想的表述都很明確，緊扣提綱。連詞和插入語(yǔ)的運(yùn)用較恰當(dāng)，如so that，In Kate’s opinion，so等；特別是一些句型和短語(yǔ)的運(yùn)用較好，如would like to，hope to，wish to以及if 引導(dǎo)的條件狀語(yǔ)從句等。
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