Question

書面表達(dá)
Daniel最近迷上了手機(jī)游戲，經(jīng)常玩到深夜�，F(xiàn)在他因?yàn)樗�眠不足，上課不能認(rèn)真聽課，成績也在下降。他媽媽很生氣，不再讓他使用手機(jī)。假如你是他的朋友Tina，請(qǐng)你寫一封信給他，建議他要合理使用手機(jī)，如查閱資料、記單詞等。同時(shí)，考試在即，要理解父母、老師的心情，要主動(dòng)去溝通，得到他們的原諒和幫助。
要求：
1.包含所給的要點(diǎn)，語言流暢，意思連貫，適當(dāng)擴(kuò)展。
2.詞數(shù)：90詞左右，開頭和結(jié)尾已給出，不計(jì)入總次數(shù)。
Dear Daniel，
I am sorry to hear that you quarrelled with your parents about playing mobile phone games．
                                                                                           
                                                                                           
                                                                                           
                                                                                           
                                                                                           
                                                                                           
                                                                                           
                                                                                           
                                   
I hope my suggestions are of great value to you．
Yours，
Tina

Answer 1

Dear Daniel，
I am sorry to hear that you quarreled with your parents about playing mobile phone games.
You spent so much time playing games that you forgot when to sleep and you felt too sleepy and tired to listen to the teachers in class the next day. Because of these, you became poor in your study. Your mother got angry with you. You felt bad about this.
Firstly, I think you should stop playing games. You can use mobile phone to search for information, and look up new words.It is a useful tool in your study.
Secondly, you need to communicate with your parents and teachers, and let them know your problems. They will help you. at the same time, they will forgive you for your mistakes.
I hope my suggestions are of great value to you.
Yours，
Tina

試題分析：這是一篇給材料作文。本文所給材料比較詳細(xì)，我們要做的就是用正確的英語把這些內(nèi)容表達(dá)出來。動(dòng)筆前要認(rèn)真閱讀材料，不可遺漏要點(diǎn)，并適當(dāng)發(fā)揮。根據(jù)材料內(nèi)容可知本文主要是一般過去時(shí)態(tài)，主語是第二人稱，注意時(shí)態(tài)時(shí)間狀語的搭配及主謂一致問題。寫作中適當(dāng)使用連詞，注意上下文聯(lián)系緊密，符合邏輯關(guān)系。
【亮點(diǎn)說明】
這篇短文準(zhǔn)確委婉地對(duì)當(dāng)事人進(jìn)行了勸說，語言得體，措辭有力，并使用了大量的固定句式和短語，為文章增色不少.如: spent so much time playing games花費(fèi)大量時(shí)間玩游戲so...that...如此......以至于；they will forgive you for your mistakes.他們會(huì)原諒你的過錯(cuò)的。I hope my suggestions are of great value to you.我希望我的建議能對(duì)你有價(jià)值以及過渡詞 Firstly, Secondly, 的恰當(dāng)使用等，都體現(xiàn)了習(xí)作者扎實(shí)的基本功和語言功底。